The term “Cinderella Complex” was first brought under the spotlight by the famous New York based therapist Colette Dowling. She discovered this complex after deep study on the nature of dependency of women and the battles they fight with themselves to get hold of their individuality.
It is often found in women who are strong, talented, caring and proficient in managing things around them but still have a deep-rooted desire to be taken care of by others- mostly male. They are able to get themselves out of any situation efficiently but like the character in the fairytale “Cinderella” wait for someone- an external force- to make things right for them and hence the term “Cinderella complex”.
After a lot of experience in this field of work, Dr. Dowling states that in order to achieve everything they want and develop themselves fully, women fear that they are going to end up alone and unloved and without anyone to care for them. Hence, women end up being dependent on people- especially males- instead of confronting their fears and overcome them.
Thus, complex is found to be in most of the women around US and has caught fire after Dr. Colette introduced it and hence lives on among the women since then.
The complex is a result of rules exerted by the society upon women who are always taught to be dependent, and they are always told that they are to be saved- by a man. Men on the hand are told to be independent, right from childhood and hence do not fear it.
The Cinderella complex incorporates the fantasy of dreaming of a prince charming to arrive and sweep them off of their feet and solve all of their problems.
How did Cinderella complex come into existence?
The Cinderella complex absconded the world of fantasy and entered reality due to many ideas. It basically has a direct relation with the childhood incidents and developments of women. The society teaches girls to contract their range of ideas and ambitions and keep themselves limited to specific boundaries as put down by the society.
Though they are loved as a child and rewarded equally like boys when they achieve something but as soon as they start growing up they are taught to behave and limit themselves. They are taught to dream but not too much. They are taught to put themselves out there, but not too much. They should have aims of being successful but not too successful to make a man feel small.
Girl are taught to keep within the limits and are discouraged from exploring themselves and their surroundings, on contrary, when a boy does so, they are praised for the same. Society always treats girls inferior than boys and is considered to me more fragile than boys. The society camouflages their discomfort of letting a girl explore themselves, as worries and concern for them.
Origination of the Complex
There are several reasons for the origination of Cinderella complex. The society often makes women to think that they will always need to depend on men for their requirements. They are often made to think of an ideal man who is going to make their life better, and they will be fragile and weak without one.
The reality in today’s world is that life is no fairytale. Women are no longer “damsel in distress”. The perception of women is now changing, and they now understand that their femininity has nothing to do with their dependency. They no longer need saving from a prince charming. They are their own hero and can save themselves.
Every woman must know that their independency has nothing to do with love and care. They will be loved and cared for by the right person no matter how successful they are.