We recently spoke about the importance of anger management due to the problems that anger can cause not only for health but also for interpersonal relationships. Yet anger can be difficult to manage – do you express it or do you hold on to it? And how does each option affect you and those around you?
The Principles of CUDSAIR
UK Professor Richard Nelson-Jones devised a method of managing anger in situations that cause anger, stress and frustration that includes the following steps of anger management –
- Confront.
- Understand.
- Define.
- Search.
- Agree.
- Implement.
- Review.
By first confronting or facing a problem you try and see how it makes you feel. Understand that it is the situation rather than a person that makes you feel this way; this helps you get another perspective on the situation.
Define exactly what the problem is, in terms of points of disagreement between you and other person.
Then look for a constructive solution that works even if it seems impractical to begin with. You then agree and go on to implement the solution, which involves concessions to be made on both sides and the arrival at a compromise.
If this solution works, then it is worth reviewing for further implementation as well.
Practical tips for anger management
Venting of anger by shouting or violent behavior will only make you feel awful later. Pent up anger can be as undesirable, so try and find ways to let off the steam in a reasonable and civil manner.Burn off excess energy by playing a vigorous sport. Get some alone time to try and relax and get a grip of your emotions.
If this doesn’t work, pick a sound proof room to yell and shout and even cry if that makes you feel better. Punch a pillow or use a punching bag to release your frustrations. Go for a sprint or a bike ride.
Learn to be empathetic
This may seem difficult or even impossible when faced with a person who is the source of one’s anger, but you can stop for a bit and just try and understand the other person’s point of view, this could be very useful. A lot of anger can dissipate when one is able to understand why the other person is saying what they are and behaving the way they are.
Though this is a difficult process to learn, once you do master it, it can be a great help in anger management.
