Attachment between parents and children is the single most important thing to have a healthy family atmosphere and bonding. Many children as they approach their teenage develop attachment disorders due to various reasons. It indeed is painful to the parents and sometimes in their worry they try to attempt ways which may counteract as well. Hence it is paramount for the parents to understand attachment disorder properly as most times these are masked by other issues.
What is Exactly Attachment Disorder?
In broader terms, attachment disorder can be described as disorders of behaviour, mood, and social relationships that occurs due to disturbed relationships and lack of warmth from in early childhood. The common causes are – neglect, abuse, sudden separation from caregivers and others. Thus in general terms, attachment disorder is a condition where individual has difficulty in forming relationship that lasts and there is lack of ability to be affectionate with others.
The After Effect
Teenage comes along with its set of problems and attachment disorder is one of the prime issues that create tension in families. Teenagers with this problem are often found with substance abuse or other extremities. Since these kids struggle with relationships and attachments, dealing with them require a strategic approach with complete awareness of the situation. Given below are some pointers to help you deal with a teenager with attachment disorder:
If your youngster has developed an attachment disorder, it is significant to you as parent to give your full attention to it. You also need to let your teen know that you are paying attention to his behaviour which you think is not appropriate. Your careful attention can initiate feelings and thoughts, and it is important to ask him questions in a positive way about his behaviour.
Explain the True Situation
More often a teenager with attachment disorder tends to think what he or she believes is the ultimate truth. This however is not true in most situations and the kid is fooling himself by considering some things are right just because he believes in them. As a parent you can identify this and explain the difference between truth and belief to them in an encouraging way.
Give Reminders on Demands
You may get exasperated by the endless demands from your teenager with attachment disorders. While they are very demanding about some things, you can prompt them by responding what is in return for you in it. It is really helpful to make him or her understand that you are aware of the demanding nature.
Pretention of Self
When your teenager says or shows that he or she is not trusting you or others by faking emotions or playing dump, you need to tell him that he is actually distrusting himself. For example when he says ‘I don’t know’, he is just pretending that he doesn’t know, and you have to pint out this to him. This way you can slowly challenge him to identify his own pretending on various things.
If your teenager is breaking his or her promises on various things with you, you have to remind her to be careful about being hurt in the future. This is because she won’t be able to use promises as a way for gaining something from parents. You have to be careful on not accepting his or her promise, if they have a previous record of breaking important promises in the past.
There are so many other things to take into consideration while dealing with teenagers with attachment disorders. Making themselves victimised and unresponsiveness are two major traits found in such kids and it really require your strategic approaches to deal with all of it.